S10 E4 Coping with Change - Handling Changes at Home

What Can I Control? – Focusing on What Is in Your Hands

Helping children understand the difference between things they can influence and things they cannot control, and showing them how focusing on one helpful action can make worries about uncertainty feel more manageable.

In this episode of Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison’s Understanding Worry series, children explore a powerful question they can ask whenever worry appears: “What can I control?”

Children learn that worry often grows because we want to know exactly what is going to happen. But there are many things we simply cannot control—the weather, what other people think or feel, what has already happened, or exactly what tomorrow will bring. At the same time, there are things that remain in our hands: how we prepare, what we say, whether we ask for help, how we respond to mistakes, and what small step we choose next.

Through Theo’s story, children see this distinction in action. Theo’s school football team has reached the final, but instead of feeling excited, he becomes caught up worrying about whether the other team will be better, whether it will rain, whether he will miss a goal, and whether his team will lose. His coach helps him sort these worries by asking which of them he can actually control. Theo realises that he cannot control the weather, the other team, or the final score—but he can practise, listen to his teammates, try his best, and keep going if he makes a mistake.

The episode introduces children to the idea of sorting worries into “in my hands” and “out of my hands.” When something is within their control, they can choose a helpful action. When it isn’t, they can practise acknowledging it and allowing that worry to rest.

Most importantly, children are encouraged to move away from trying to control an entire uncertain situation and towards a smaller, more manageable question:

“What is one thing I can do right now?”

What children will learn in this episode:

• Why uncertainty can sometimes make worry grow
• The difference between things they can and cannot control
• Why other people’s choices, the weather and future outcomes aren’t in their hands
• How their preparation, words, actions and responses can be within their control
• How to sort worries into “in my hands” and “out of my hands”
• Why choosing one helpful next step can make a worry feel more manageable

Emotional Skills from Miss Harrison:

Ask: “Is this in my hands?”
When worry appears, pause and decide whether it is something you can actually influence or change.

Focus on what you can do
You might be able to practise, prepare, ask for help, take a breath, speak kindly or tell someone how you feel.

Let what isn’t yours to control rest
When something is out of your hands, remind yourself: “This isn’t mine to control.” You don’t need to solve everything.

Choose one small next step
Instead of trying to control the whole situation, ask: “What is one thing I can do right now?”

These skills help children develop perspective, emotional regulation, problem-solving, resilience and a healthier response to uncertainty.

Mindful Moment Challenge:

This week, whenever a worry appears, ask:

“Is this in my hands or out of my hands?”

If it is in your hands, choose one small, helpful action you can take.

If it is out of your hands, take a slow breath and practise saying:

“I can let this one go for now.”

Then gently bring your attention back to what you can do.

Perfect for:

• Primary school-aged children learning how to manage uncertainty and worry
• Classrooms exploring PSHE, emotional literacy, resilience and problem-solving
• Families helping children distinguish between helpful action and worrying about things beyond their control
• Teachers and pastoral leaders supporting children who worry about future outcomes
• Children developing perspective, coping strategies and emotional regulation

Quote of the Week:

“You can’t control everything that happens, but you can choose your next small step.”

#MindfulMoments #UnderstandingWorry #WhatCanIControl #CircleOfControl #WorriedThoughts #EmotionalWellbeing #ChildrensMentalHealth #PrimaryPSHE #SocialEmotionalLearning #MindfulnessForChildren #EmotionalRegulation #Resilience #WellbeingInSchools

Transcript

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Hello everyone and welcome back to Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison. I'm Miss Harrison and I'm so glad you're here for another episode in our Coping with Change series. Last time we talked about new beginnings, how to take brave first steps into something new and exciting. Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week? I hope your star map helped you see all the possibilities shining in your sky. Today we're exploring something that many of us face at some point changes at home. By the end of this episode, you'll understand how to manage big feelings when family life shifts and learn ways to feel safe and steady through it all. Let's begin. Our homes are where we eat, sleep, laugh, talk, and feel safe. But sometimes home life changes and that can feel unsettling. Some changes might be a new baby in the family, moving house, a parent starting a new job or working different hours, a family member going away or coming back. Or parents living in different places. Even when the people who love us stay the same, these changes can make everything feel different. Let's hear a story about someone learning how to handle a big shift at home. Arlo loved having breakfast with his big sister Jaya. They told silly jokes, passed the toast, and made each other laugh. But one morning Jaya wasn't there. She had just left for university, and Arlo's kitchen felt quiet and strange. His mum noticed him staring at the empty chair. It feels weird, doesn't it? she said. Arlo nodded. I miss her. It's not the same. His mum smiled. It's okay to miss her. Want to send her a message after breakfast? They wrote a funny note and drew a picture of a toast superhero. When Jaya replied later that day, Arlo felt a little brighter. He realized the chair might be empty, but their connection was still strong. What do you think helped Arlo feel better about the change at home? Just like Arlo, we can all learn ways to feel steady when things change at home. Here are some helpful steps. 1. Notice what feels different. It's okay to name what feels strange or new. 2. Talk about it. Share your feelings with someone you trust. You don't have to figure it out alone. 3. Find comfort in routines. Keeping a few familiar habits, like a bedtime story or a morning hug, can help you feel safe. 4. Stay connected. If someone moves away or is busy, letters, drawings, video calls or photos can help you feel close. Home doesn't have to stay exactly the same to still be a place full of love. Can you think of one small routine that makes you feel safe or happy at home? Let's create a little home comfort map in your mind, or on paper if you like. Think about one person who makes you feel safe at home. One place in your home that feels cozy or calm. One routine that helps you feel steady even when other things change. Whenever things feel uncertain, your comfort map can guide you back to a feeling of safety. You've done such thoughtful and brave work today learning how to manage changes at home. Remember, big feelings are normal when home life changes. Talking, connecting, and holding on to comforting routines can help. Love and care don't disappear, they just sometimes show up in new ways. Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week. Draw, write, or talk about something that's changed at home and something that stayed the same. Notice how both can live side by side in your heart. Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore changes at school and how to stay calm and confident when things shift in your learning world. I can't wait to be with you then. Thank you for joining me today. Keep noticing, keep sharing, and as always, keep shining bright.